Leading Yourself - Quick Tip: Guard your Tongue

I had to pull my teenage sons up short last night.  They were just being teenage boys, but some part of that crossed a line or two that I had in place for their training and protection.  The look on their faces when I confronted them was priceless: in the nanosecond of realization that crossed their faces I could see the thinking process.  Should they fight?  Should they rationalize?  Should they try subterfuge? In the matter of a moment, they had a decision to make that would shape the outcome of their near futures and the flavor of their social life for the weekend.

Fortunately, they came clean and will not have to endure a weekend at home with Mom and Dad (although worse things could happen...).

Switching metaphors, I just learned this morning of an off-handed comment made absent-mindedly by a leader I know.  The comment led to a breakdown in the relationship between the leader and key constituent.  What was the leader thinking?  Was the leader thinking??

The tongue is a powerful thing.  Whoever guards his mouth and tongue keeps his soul from troubles, so goes the Proverb...

Many of my leadership foibles are preceded by slips of the tongue.  These are generally preceded by nothing.  That is to say that I wish they were preceded by something...anything.  But, unfortunately, it's usually NOTHING.  In the plainest of words: I wasn't thinking.  Had I been thinking (like those quick-as-a-whip sons of mine), I probably would have held my tongue.  Instead, like the leader who lost a key follower, I mostly let the words out before weighing them and measuring them.

Take, for example, our current vice president, who has made more than a few verbal bungles.  Recently, an open microphone picked up his sentiments regarding the recent signing of dubious health care law.  He may be a smart guy, but his tongue has given him a little trouble.

So, what's a leader to do?

Remember that the most important leadership question to ask yourself daily is, "How can I help my team / team members succeed?"

Before the words get out, form the answer to that question.

Angry?  Step outside and get composed.

Don't know what to say?  Don't say anything!

Keep the faith.